This time of year, a lot of us are spending time with people we see rarely and interact with poorly. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting awfully tired of hearing aunts and uncles and cousins remark on how grown up I am. I’m 30, fer crying out loud. I’m grown. Give it up!

I’m also getting tired of people assuming I’m exactly the same as I was when I was 10. I’ve come a long way in the past 20 years, and even further in the past 12 months, so not only does this assumption make their view of me completely inaccurate, it’s also offensive to me because it so heavily implies stagnation. I know you haven’t done any self work in the past decade, Aunt Melda, but I do it all the time, so stop assuming I’m still into Fruit Loops and footie pj’s!

In this situation, I’ve found that it’s really important to start over from where you are now. I think a lot of us have this desire to go back to the way things were, but it’s not helpful and often makes those sticky assumptions even sticker.

If you start over, you get to be who you are now, not who you were then (whenever then is for you). And who you are now is strictly better than who you were - because it’s you. Right now.

This is true for relationships as well as family. If you and your lover have a huge fight and things change, wishing you could go back isn’t going to help. It’s harmful, in fact, because it blinds you to the reality of how things are now, and now is all we’ve got. If you don’t like now, then the best thing to do is change your now. However, focusing on the way things were is natural and not wrong. It’s okay to feel however you feel whenever you feel it.

So if (or when) you find yourself in a situation that’s causing you to wish things could return to a previous way, think on it. Spend some time with those feelings, see what you’re missing, and see if you can find a way to have that now. Start over with all the knowledge and experience you hold within yourself now - what an awesome advantage.

“People will hate me if I think I do well,” my friend Joely wrote today. Today’s post is brought to you by righteous indignation on her behalf and fervent desire to make the world a better place. Let’s go.

How many of you were nerds in high school? Raise your hands. *raises hand*

How many of you were teased or given a hard time about getting good grades? *raises hand*

Today, I want to bitch about how much that sort of thing sucks, talk about why I think it happens, and then talk about how to make it better. (Or at least, how I’ve made it better for me.)

It really sucks.

It makes me really angry that people need to tear others down to make themselves feel better. I feel really sad about all the awesome and potentially awesome people (like, for instance, who have to process through metric tons of crap that isn’t even their own crap but is just other people’s shitty way of bolstering their “self”-esteem.

GRR!!!

Why do people do this?

I think it’s because of the iPhone effect.

The iPhone effect, in short, is that people tell stories that relieve their dissonance. If people receive conflicting information, they’ll resolve the conflict in a way that makes them feel comfortable and happy with themselves.

For example, if Russ has trouble getting good grades in school, he’ll experience dissonance between conflicting stories: “Doing well in school is good”, “I’m not doing well in school”, and the implicit assumption “I am a good person.” To resolve this dissonance, Russ will likely ditch one of the conflicting stories. Perhaps he’ll change his story from “Doing well in school is good” to “Doing well in school is for nerds, and nerds suck.” That story allows Russ to avoid changing his actions while still keeping the belief that he’s a good person.

Russ redefined “good”.

Nerds do the same thing, though, but in a different way. For example, June looks at all the popular kids in school and experiences conflicting stories: “Being popular is good”, “I’m not popular”, and “I am a good person.” June might resolve this dissonance by changing her story from “Being popular is good” to “Being popular is for jocks and cheerleaders, and they suck. Being smart is what’s really good.” That story allows June to avoid changing her actions while still keeping her belief that she’s a good person.

June redefined “good”.

I think just about everyone does this, from kids to highschoolers to adults to the Dalai Lama.

Why is this awesome?

It’s awesome because you can choose what story you want to be in.

If you don’t like the story you’re currently telling, you can change it. Maybe the story you’re currently telling wasn’t written by you. Maybe it was written by your parents and your classmates and your childhood friends and your exes. Maybe it was written by former versions of yourself who were very different from the you that you are now. Maybe a sentence or two was written by random people you passed on the street who looked at you the wrong way, or by surly food service employees.

You can rewrite your story.

Do so with care, because the story you write will become your reality. You might not want to put “Nerds suck” or “Jocks suck” in the story of your life. But whatever you choose to write, keep on writing. Keep on writing the story of your life, keep on unfolding, keep on growing, and keep on creating yourself.

Pace and I have made several trips to Dallas recently. On one of them, we listened to a podcast wherein Alex Shalman interviews Steve Pavlina. Steve is one of the biggest influences in our lives right now, so we’re always interested in what he says.

During the interview, Steve offers this as a valuable tool for growth: connect with what we do want and disconnect from what we don’t want.

This is important. Disconnecting from what we don’t want is a major part of self-work - one that often gets overlooked. We spend a lot of time and effort focusing on what we do want, connecting with it, and bringing it to us. But if we don’t spend time and effort getting rid of what we don’t want, we’re unbalanced.

In The 4-Hour Work Week, Tim Ferriss talks about the 80/20 rule: 80% of your stress comes from 20% of your life. This is amazingly true! I’ve found that 80% of my stress came from 20% of my work, 80% of my fears came from 20% of my experiences, 80% of my unhappiness was coming from 20% of the relationships in my life (and vice versa - 80% of my happiness comes from 20% of my relationships), and so on. So, what do you do with this?

You 80/20 your life. Find those 20% things - the highest stressors, the most frustrating clients, the friends with the highest drama factors - and see if you can do without them. With friends, it’s good to see if you can improve things first, but if that fails, what is it bringing you? Would you be better off without those friendships? Odds are, if they’re causing you all that stress and bringing you little happiness, yes. You would be better off, even if it’s difficult and painful to end things.

We tend toward sticking with relationships, especially friendships, even after they grow toxic or unimportant to us. I’ve become something of an 80/20 juggernaut, and I’ve found that cutting out those relationships opens me up for healthier, happier, more equal relationships. But if I keep those toxic ones, I’m full up and can’t make room for more.

This works for material objects, too. It’s not just about relationships, business or personal. Look around your living space - what there is bringing you joy and what’s bringing you stress? Do you have too many pens? Too many cats? Too much clutter? Is your kitchen full of useless pots and pans and spoons, leaving you no room for the blender you really want? Is that fish tank still making you feel peaceful, or do you get tense every time you have to clean it? If you 80/20 your stuff, you have lots of room for new stuff - or no stuff, which is awesome in a different way. (You can also make a little money if you sell the old stuff!)

Disconnecting from what you don’t want is just as important as connecting to what you do want. In fact, every time you disconnect from something negative, you make room for something positive. You create a little space in your life where you can put something that brings you joy, that makes you happy, that in some way furthers your connection to those things you do want. It’s empowering and a critical part of the path of self-growth and happiness in life.

I’m working on developing the habit of being happy. Experience has shown me that being happy is something you can practice and become better at. To help me make a habit of being happy, I’m working on several supporting habits.

1. Drinking more water. I’ve noticed that I often feel “cottonheaded” when I’m feeling grumpy, depressed, or overwhelmed. My eyes feel like they’re set back a little further in their sockets instead of being at the forefront, my thoughts feel like they’re slogging through mud, and my head feels like it’s wrapped in cotton. I move and react very slowly and become incapable of solving problems that require creative thought. Then, as soon as I have a glass of water, clarity returns. So I’m taking a page from Kyeli’s book and trying the eight-glasses-a-day thing. Except that I’m trying to drink eight 16oz glasses a day instead of 8oz glasses, so that’s quite a lot of water. My bladder is having a hard time adjusting and I’m making lots of bathroom trips, but Kyeli tells me it gets a bit better in a couple of months. Being hydrated is a major help! I’m much happier and much less cottonheaded when I’m well hydrated. Keeping a bottle of water in my purse has helped a lot in keeping the habit going.

2. Eating healthier. Again inspired by Kyeli, I’m doing a 30-day trial of being vegan. I’ve been a vegetarian for a long time, but that doesn’t mean I was eating well. I ate lots of cheese pizza and other such foods high in carbs and loaded with cheese. Eating heavy meals often led to me feeling lethargic and cottonheaded, and that’s been happening a lot less since I’ve been vegan (and actually eating vegetables!)

3. Eating smaller meals more often. This has required some logistical changes in my routine, but helps a lot in avoiding the food coma after a big meal.

4. Avoiding caffeine. I didn’t really intend to do this, but since I’ve made these other changes in my habits and lifestyle, I’ve found that I haven’t been as sleepy and lethargic, except on Mondays when I wake up at 5:30 for Toastmasters. I haven’t really needed caffeine, so now that I’ve noticed, I’m officially making it part of the 30-day trial too.

5. Exercising 3 times a week. I’ll play Dance Dance Revolution (actually Stepmania or In The Groove) on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for at least half an hour, and I’ll pay attention to how I feel on those days versus the other days.

6. Slowing down. Enjoying the journey.

7. Tasting my goals. Remembering the passion that fired me to choose this path in life.

8. Asking for help. Kyeli asked me for a list of things she could do to cheer me up if I’m feeling down or depressed and she wants to try cheering me up. Happy music, a yummy snack, a walk outside, a shoulder rub (I often store my stress in my shoulders), making me laugh, or any of half a dozen other things can cheer me up, and then as soon as I feel cheery I remember that I enjoy being cheery. (: It’s enough to get me out of the rut I’m stuck in.

So far it’s been going really well. I’ve been feeling a lot less cottonheaded, down, stressed, and unmotivated, and feeling a lot more happy, slow, and lighthearted. At the end of the month I’ll let you know how the 30-day trial went. I’m feeling pretty darn good so far. (:

I had an epiphany yesterday: Hurry is why I worry.

I know I’m making the usual error to some extent; I know that people worry about lots of other things. But for me, hurry is the #1 cause of worry in my life. I worry that I’m not getting enough done each day, I worry that opportunities are passing me by, and when I try to relax I worry that I’m wasting time. I live my life in a general state of feeling uncomfortably rushed.

Hurry wasn’t always my #1 cause of worry. I used to worry about whether I would accomplish my goals. But now that I know myself well enough, now that I know my passions and I know enough about motivation, it’s no longer a question of whether I will accomplish my goals. It’s only a matter of time.

I worry about how the business side of the Usual Error Project is going. Not whether we’ll reach our income goals, because I know we will, but whether we’ll reach them in time. There’s a ticking clock reminding me that if we’re not making enough to pay our bills by the end of 2009, I’ll need to go back to my day job or find another part-time job — to stop working on the Usual Error Project 100%. That ticking clock has been filling me with so much fear that it’s hard for me to concentrate on the positive. I forget how good it feels to help people and improve their lives. I forget how good it feels to receive a comment or an email saying, “Thank you. This post really helped me.”

I was rooted in fear instead of love.

If what it takes is to work part-time at a money-making job and work on the Usual Error Project in the meantime, that’s what I’ll do. If what it takes is to work full-time at a money-making job and eke out little slices of time on evenings and weekends to work on the Usual Error Project, that’s what I’ll do. If what it takes is to cut our budget to make ends meet, that’s what we’ll do. When success is inevitable, your only remaining enemy is time.

The mantra I used to repeat to myself was:

I would rather fail happily than succeed and be miserable.

This reminded me to enjoy the journey, that life is like music. Life isn’t about the destination. I’m living this life because I want to do what I love, and being stressed out all the time is most definitely not what I love. But now that I’m in a mindset where it’s no longer about success vs. failure but instead about the time frame of success, here’s my new mantra to repeat to myself whenever the hurry-demons nip at my heels:

I would rather succeed after a happy decade than succeed after a miserable year.

If we wanted to work ourselves to the bone to solve our financial problems once and for all, we would have implemented the Four Hour Work Week strategy instead of making a career out of the Usual Error Project. But we’re not doing that, because that’s not our primary goal.

Haste makes paste. And by paste, I mean gallons of the icky, sticky kind of paste that gets under your fingernails, bogs you down, and sticks to the soles of your shoes like chewing gum.

This applies to everyday things as well as big life choices.

Slow down.

Slow down when you drive. It’ll only cost you a couple of minutes and will make the quality of your drive (and your life!) better.

Slow down when spending time with friends or loved ones. Spend some time connecting and just being rather than filling every minute with an activity.

Slow down your daily schedule. Pad it so you never need to hurry.

Slow down while working. Don’t let those deadlines get to you. Slowing down will help you do a better job as well as helping you enjoy yourself more.

Slow down while waiting in line.

Slow down when you make love.

Slow down when you get immersed.

Slow down when you walk. Look around you and enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells.

Imagine a day like this. Imagine a day similar to a normal day in your life, but slower. You still do all the things you’d normally do, but you don’t hurry. You go about your day at a relaxed pace, smiling and savoring every minute of it. You’re not rushing to get to the end of the day or the week (what, so you can hurry again tomorrow or next week?), you’re enjoying the journey.

If that feels good to you, make it happen. Slow down. If you’re afraid that things will slip and bad things will come to pass if you stop hurrying, try one of my mantras on for size if either one feels true for you. “I would rather fail happily than succeed and be miserable.” “I would rather succeed after a happy decade than succeed after a miserable year.”

No hurry, no worry!

For me, I let go of my hurry (and my worry) by going with the flow of the universe instead of fighting against it. I don’t mean “going with the flow” as in “don’t rock the boat” or “sit on your ass,” I mean being aligned with my purpose and following my calling. When I’m aligned with the universe, things will happen when they need to happen. I’ll do my best to swim along with the flow, but I won’t fight against it. I think this is similar to what others call “Letting go and letting God.”

You’ll probably read another blog post after you read this one. Try reading it slowly. Read it word for word, calmly, savoring and enjoying each word, even if you don’t agree with it. Try it and see if it puts you in a more relaxed mindset. See if it helps you slow down.

I hope you have a lovely, joyous, slow day.

Part one and part two of this series were written by Pace. She’s read “Getting Things Done”, but I haven’t (I’m slow to read non-fiction). In fact, I wrote this without intending it to be part three, but Pace liked it so much she asked me to tie it in. So here, have a tie!

And now, the post.

We tend to prattle on about organization, and it’s because being organized makes a huge difference in our effectiveness and efficiency. Well, that, and because we said this is a three-part series, so we needed three parts. We like to be honest. Anyway, it’s amazing, and I wouldn’t have believed it if someone else told me about it, until I tried it for myself.

Hmm. I realize I am telling you about it, but you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want me to tell you things. Haha!

Today’s babble about organization is specifically about the awesomeness of lists. This post is delightfully meta; I went to our list of post ideas to figure out what to post about, and before the page even loaded I realized I would post about lists!

So, lists. As I mentioned, we have a list of post ideas. This is immensely helpful when I’m staring into this little white box with a blinking cursor driving me up the wall and a mind as empty as the damn box, and my brain starts inventing music to go with the blinking cursor’s rhythm. I go to our list, and reading it always inspires me, and I get rolling on a post (or two!).

I make lists every day for what work I need to get done. I have a notebook (which the kitten destroyed last night with water, thanks very much), and I write the day’s list in it and then keep it handy. When I finish something, I cross it off. Not only does my list get shorter and remain accurate, it’s amazingly satisfactory to scribble a line through something. (:

I make lists when I get stressed, to see what things are stressing me and what I can do to make it better. I recently made a list of all the house-related things stressing me out. The simple act of making the list helped ease the stress, because then I could see what I was actually facing rather than the built up huge pile of chores my mind invented. After I made the list, I was able to focus and accomplish things, and crossing that stuff off was incredible.

Making a list ensures I don’t forget things. When I have it all written down, I’m not going to get sidetracked by that interesting email or silly YouTube video and forget what I was doing. Well, I might get sidetracked and forget, but then I have it written down right here beside me, so I can go back to it and finish my tasks without floundering and feeling lost. I’m a big multi-tasker (at least, for the time being), so having that handily reminding list right there hones my focus.

Having a list means I know what I’m getting done. Another perk is knowing what I’m accomplishing every day. I make a list, I cross finished things off, and then I have a reliable record of what I’ve accomplished and what I missed every day. I review yesterday’s list each morning. If there’s something that isn’t crossed off by the end of the day, I make a note: I either need to postpone it or follow up on it in some fashion, and if I leave it uncrossed without a note, I’ll forget why. I find this useful for keeping track of what I’m waiting on and why.

The failing of lists can manifest in stress. Sometimes, I’m looking at my list, and I think, “Good gods, I have SO MUCH on my list today!” Then I get overwhelmed and wind up ignoring my list in favor of thrashing on the internet. I won’t look at the notebook. I can feel it sitting there, staring at me, saying all the things I’m patently not doing.

When that happens, I take a deep breath and relax. My list is my list. I’m in control of what I do and when I do it, so there’s no need to let it stress me out. The list is there to help me, not stress me. I’ll read it over (sometimes, I’ll hug my notebook; it’s silly, but it makes me feel like my list and I are on the same team), see if there’s anything I can postpone without negative consequences, and see what I feel like tackling in this moment. There’s almost always something that can wait, and something small I can do easily. Once I cross that first thing off, I get on a roll and get back into the groove - then I’m able to work more effectively!

On the occasions where I feel really stuck and unable to focus on my list, I’ll take a break. It’s fine to take a break, but I want to slack on purpose, not on accident. If I’m avoiding the list, I feel guilty and stressed. If I’m taking a break, I can relax and enjoy myself, and then return to my list without all that guilt in the way.

For my list purposes, I use a paper notebook because I like the sensation of drawing a line through finished tasks. Pace uses Remember the Milk. My brother uses Things, and I’m trying it out to see how I like it. There are various ways to keep a to-do list. I recommend trying a few things and see what works best for you, and stick with it for a while.

See the power of lists in action!

This is part 2 of 3 of our How to get organized series of posts, inspired by reading Getting Things Done. There were three points David Allen made in the book that totally rocked my world. Each of them is interesting enough to get its own post.

Point #1 was: get your to-do list out of your head.

We filled an entire coffee table full of post-it notes, and since then we’ve helped three friends figure out a good process for doing it themselves. They used poster board instead of a table, though. That was pretty smart. I wish we had thought to do that. (;

So now you’ve got a coffee table or poster board full of post-it notes, and all your to-do items are out of your head. That’s a great start! The next step is to turn your brainsplosion into a pretty tree.

Organize your post-its based on what goal they help you achieve. Organize them based on which things you need to do first before you can work on other things. Sort them based on when you want or need to get them done. I like to build a tree, a pretty dependency tree. It starts with the next thing to do, and then grows down (I’m a computer scientist, my trees grow down) and branches out into the new things that I can do after I finish those prerequisites. But however you do it, do it in a way that makes sense to you, not to me. This will be useful for step three (coming up tomorrow!).

Now that you have a pretty tree or spiral or matrix or whatever organizational layout works for you, we’re going to take our tree and plant it firmly in the ground.

To do this, all you need to do is ask yourself the following four words:

“What’s the next action?”

These four words will completely change the way you organize your life.

So, we’re looking at our pretty tree of post-its, and on some of the branches we have stuff like:

• book signing
• spend more quality time with Kyeli
• blog posts
• launch website

…and so on. For each one of these items, ask yourself the question “What’s the next action?”

For book signing the next action was “Call Book People about the book signing: Return Rebecca’s call at 512-xxx-xxxx”.

For spend more quality time with Kyeli the next action was “Talk with Kyeli about our schedules and about what we each feel is quality time.”

For blog posts the next action was “Set up a daily reminder to make a blog post.”

For launch website the next action was “Schedule a meeting with Kyeli and Megan to discuss what we need to do to launch the website.” No, “schedule” isn’t an action. Even better: “Email Megan and talk to Kyeli to pick a time for a meeting to discuss what we need to do to launch the website.” “Email” is a much more concrete action than “schedule”.

Now check out the revised version of the to-do list:

• Call Book People about the book signing: Return Rebecca’s call at 512-xxx-xxxx
• Talk with Kyeli about our schedules and about what we each feel is quality time
• Set up a daily reminder to make a blog post
• Email Megan and talk to Kyeli to pick a time for a meeting to discuss what we need to do to launch the website

I don’t know about you, but I feel a lot better about the second version of the to-do list. I can imagine myself staring at the first one, thinking about how daunting it feels and how vague and intimidating it is. I can imagine myself flailing, thinking over and over again, “Website launch? Yeah, let’s do that. It’s going to be big and complicated. Spend more quality time with Kyeli? Yeah, that’s a really good idea. Let’s do that.” I’m thinking round and round in circles, but I’m not getting anything done because it seems too overwhelming. Maybe I’ll make a blog post, but then I’ll forget to blog tomorrow.

The second to-do list is concrete. It’s full of things that I can do. I can call this number. I can talk to Kyeli. I can set this thing up. I can send this email. No worries, no stress! Then when I complete that item, I ask myself again, “What’s the next action to complete this task?” Then I add that next action to the list.

In summary, here are the two things you do after you have a brainsplosion of post-it notes all over your coffee table. You turn your brainsplosion into a pretty tree, organized and sorted however makes sense to you, and then you plant your tree in the ground by asking yourself “What’s the next action?”

Enjoy your pretty tree! (:

In January, we underwent a major life change. We had been part of a triad, and the triad split up; Pace and I stayed together, but our third partner left. Heartbreaking, but best for all of us, it was dramatic and life-changing.

Our third partner had been primarily responsible for the schooling of our son and the maintenance of our home. With her gone, I took on most of those responsibilities. Our son is unschooled (a free-form method of homeschooling), and as such, he’s home all day and needs guidance and attention.

In addition to my new responsibilities, I was the co-owner of a small, local staffing agency. My duties included recruitment, phone calls, emails, clients, and employees. Good work, but a lot; I was always busy. Once I took over the education of my son and the maintenance of our home, my stress level gradually rose higher and higher.

My business partner and I had a conversation in which she wanted me to take on some sales work. I protested mightily - not only am I not a sales person, I wasn’t happy about taking on additional responsibilities! After many intense conversations, I realized the core issue - if she had come to me then, in that time of stress and worry about all the new responsibilities I had taken on at the end of my relationship, and asked me to be her business partner, I would have turned her down. I would have said no.

Once I discovered that, the path became clear. It was time for me to step down, to turn the business over to her in full. It was time for me to get out.

It wasn’t about her or my relationship with her. It wasn’t about my relationship with the company. It was about my life being too full for me to function well in any of my roles, and the path I needed to take to make things better for all of us.

We finalized the sale of the company, she assumed full control, and I stepped down. I stepped into the role of full-time mother and educator more fully and with a clear mind, knowing I could focus on my son and help him through these hard times without having to push him away to focus on work. Freeing myself from the responsibility that I no longer wanted or could handle gave me the time and presence I needed to focus not only on my son, but also on my wife, my house, my cats, and, eventually, the Usual Error Project (and this blog).

The point of this? If you realize that something you’ve been doing or something that’s been going on for a while isn’t working anymore, ask yourself, “If I was presented with this now, would I accept?” If the answer is no, find a way out and get out. Take care of yourself, take care of the situation, and depart in a healthy manner, but do it - get out now!

Pace and I, dining on sushi and Thai, conversing. I was enjoying the sushi more than I’d enjoyed most foods for days, and wanted more despite feeling full. I looked at it, beautiful in greens and yellows and white, arranged like flowers on the plate.

“I can make sushi,” I commented offhandedly. “It’s probably not even all that hard.”

A moment passed, and my eyes welled up with unexpected tears. “I… I can…” I choked on words, paused, took a deep breath. A shiver ran down my spine. “I can do anything!”

And it’s true. I can do anything I set my mind to do. I can do anything I want to do, limited only by myself and my imagination - and not even my imagination! If, four years ago, anyone had told me that I’d be living the life I am now with the people I’m with, I would have said, “I can’t even imagine that!”, and it would have been true.

In that vein, today, I bought myself a present. I bought myself a gorgeous black left-handed bass guitar.

I don’t even currently know how to play! But I’m going to learn, I’m going to love it, and I’m going to be in a band. I can do anything! (And so can you!)

Usually, our place is clean and tidy. We’ve got lots of stacking bins that make a couple of tall and a couple of short towers in various places - these keep our stuff organized and out of the way, gives everything a place to live off the floor and the tables. We’ve got a neat box of drawers that holds our smaller things, like dice and nails and pens. We’ve got a big dresser-like tabley thing where we store our tools and lockbox, photos and laundry essentials. We mounted a neat bar-and-shelf thingie from Ikea to our kitchen wall, to free up our minimal counter space.

We have “hardwood” floors, so we got lots of rugs to help keep the floors cleaner and more comfy for our bare feet. We brought a laundry basket downstairs for those errant, end-of-day socks that would scatter everywhere. We have a cork board and push-pins for outgoing mail and memos, a whiteboard for shorter messages and budget tallies, a mounted rack for our DVDs and video games, and trash cans in lots of places. Everything has a place, and everything goes in its place.

However, right now, my environment is stressing me out.

Our house is messy. There are several boxes strewn about. Our tables are covered with stuff. Our floor is unswept. Some of our handy dandy organizer bins are overflowing, particularly the one right next to my spot on the couch, making the mess in my personal space. We have some new things that don’t yet have places to live, so they’re strewn about in inconvenient (and sometimes painful) places. There are visible cords now, because we got Rock Band and the drums and microphones connect to the Wii in the front. Our bathrooms are dirty, and both our toilet seats are broken. I got a couple of new kitchen gadgets, so now the counters are too crowded.

On top of this, my brother is coming to stay for a few days on Wednesday, and we’re having a party on Saturday (Pace’s birthday is next week!).

I forget how important a clean and organized environment is to my ability to work and function until I’m overwhelmed and in tears. Then I take a deep breath, look around, and realize that the place is a mess! Since we work here as well as live here, I’m in this habitat nearly all day, every day. That’s a lot of time to be in an environment that’s causing stress!

So, it’s time to go back to the Container Store, time to head to Target. Fix those broken things, get another bin or two, find homes for that new stuff. Get the floor swept and another rug to help manage the mess. Maybe a trip to Ikea for a few more mountable kitchen space savers. Time to evaluate the stress and get the mess under control.

Having a clean, organized environment helps me focus on the blog, the Usual Error Project, my son, my wife, and myself. When it gets too messy, too out of control, the stress builds and becomes a major distraction. We recommend trying out a few organizational systems and seeing what helps your environment become more relaxing and peaceful, and what helps you to better focus on your priorities!